Wednesday, May 4, 2011

On My Mind

 Today as hubs and I are driving to meet up with his brother at a Home Depot he is driving and I am thinking. I tell him " You know 2010 was not only a year of testing us but I think it took some of my spark away. Between the stress of worrying about Gabby, you and school finals I think it took it out of me." He tells me he is not sure what I am saying but he noticed that I am not as tolerant , even of the little everyday things like I use to be. Does this mean that the year had beat me down and sucked the life out of me? MAYBE!! It was a tough year. I held up pretty good with going to school full time, Gabby in and out of the hospital, Alan having cancer and 2 surgeries along with finals, starting the Masters Body Worker Program, having 2 girls living with us and trying to do my best to stay UP, Positive and happy I think I did okay. Now I feel like I am falling apart.
 I am not sure why. Is this my mid life crisis? Not sure what to think about all this that is going on.
 On my health blog I posted about the feelings of letting people down including yourself. Do any of you feel this way? Feeling stuck and not sure how to get out of where you are at? Wanting to live up to that potential that people say you have but you feel so tired.....worn out.......beaten down....that you can't or don't feel like it.
 What do you do in this case? Take the NIKE approach and just do it! Would love some feed back.
Hugs, Bobbi Jo


The Lucas Gang said...

I think you need a break. Come visit me, or better yet move up here and get a job and it will all work fine!!!

Janel said...

I am in the EXACT same boat as you, I have been crashing from last year and can't seem to get it together. I'm working on trying something out, I will let you know how it goes for me. I feel hugely dissapointed in myself as well. We just need to keep on pushin through until we find a break in the cloud!!

Angela said...

For me the year after my accident I held it together pretty well. It was that second year that had me beat. I wondered why when things should have been getting easier and I should have been feeling better I felt so discouraged, dark and sad. I don't have any answers or fabulous solution. I just know I made it through. Get up every day and try your best. Sometimes that is just making it to the end of the day. It is hard, but don't stop doing the things that you know you should, even when it feels like it makes no difference in the moment. Your family loves you and will forgive you for your shortcomings. They will love you through it just the same as you love them through their difficult times. Try not to beat yourself up or give into Satan's lies about not being good enough. Fight them. There will be a time when you realize it's starting to get easier. Keep praying for that day and you will make it!

Amy said...

I think you have made it through the year amazingly have a gorgeous family! But it IS incredibly hard not to be hard on ourselves as women. I definitely struggle with that constantly.

heather said...

I'm with the Lucas Gang. You need a break. A re-charge. It's like you were living on an adrenaline rush, having just what you needed to survive, and now you're on the detox.

I hope you are feeling more yourself again soon. Hugs.